Another year older?

بِسۡمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...

Yep, I am officially 26. Yippieeeeee~~~~~[not].

Alhamdulillah, syukur. Thank you so much Midem for baking me a Rilakkuma cake! I've always wanted a Rilakkuma cake for some reason haha. Kesian Midem ada kakak like me, siap kena paksa tuuu kalau tak Rilakkuma, nak Spongebob. Over tak??? Wanted to upload a picture of the cake, tapi all the pics have me in it without my hijab. So takpe la, bayangkan je la cake tu rupa kepala Rilakkuma eh? LOL.

Another year has passed since my last birthday. A lot has happened since. Where do I begin? Midem pun dah graduate, dah start class dah pun. She decided to pursue Tourism Management for her degree. Katanya kalau Culinary Arts degree sama je macam diploma course dia dulu, throw in a few business classes je. Whatever it is, congratulations Midem! Had fun laughing at her coursemates' names at the graduation ceremony which took place in mid May. Lucky for us, kat Taylor's boleh beli extra tickets, boleh la Byn and Patthi masuk sekali dalam hall (oh and Patthi is Midem's boyfie, keep forgetting how to spell his name, aneh sungguh). Siap ada refreshments, sedap pulak makan tu hahaha. The campus is quite huge, siap ada lake lagi. But since I had to pick up Dol and his family tadi, and I have to send them back, tak dapat nak round-round campus yang sangat canggih itu. Oh yeah, Dol and family was also there to celebrate with us. Thank God, Midem dah nak nangis dah sebab tak dapat ambil gambar family katanya. Ceh.

cubaan fisheye lol

Oh yeah! I forgot the biggest news kot?!

Earlier this year I've been upgraded to Aunt status! Yep, I am an aunt now. How cool is that? Well not really, it just shows that I'm getting older.....*sigh*.....My brother decided to name my nephew Imran. (Cehhh curi nama anak Byn!!...I mean assuming I would reproduce la kan? T.T) Born on January 16th, mom and dad was beyond excited. Siap nak pergi rumah everyweek pulak tu! Cause after Immy Meran was born, Dol had to go somewhere tah mana tah, so he couldn't bring Immy Meran over and since Immy and his mom is still in confinement, I had to take mom & dad to visit. Everyweek the dreaded "Kamu ada pergi mana-mana ke this weekend?" question will haunt me. Ha ha ha. A few months after that, we had a small Majlis Cukur Jambul for the little "squarehead-no-neck-who-looks-like-atok-walrus" at home. Alhamdulillah everything went well. Penat gila kot! I had to prepare 8 kilos of sambal tumis udang!

A few months old Immy Meran

Apart from all the happiness that surrounds me, I still somehow manage to feel a little empty inside. Penyakit tua kah? I took a leave of absence from school to take care of my dad and to heal my fingers. Nobody really knows I did that. I just told them I only had a few subjects left and those subjects are not offered during short semesters. That does not count as lying kan? I mean sure I've taken most of the subjects already, and yes the ones I needed to take are only offered during long semesters. So in a way, I'm telling the truth without getting into details, kan? Eh apa la mengarut, ulang dua kali cerita.

Why am I not happy? Why do I feel all sad and lonely inside? Apa lagi yang tak cukup? Takde apa sangat yang berubah sebenarnya. I'm still the same old me. Perangai masih keanakkan, masih kena marah dengan Daddy akibat kedegilan yang tak pernah lupus dari dalam diri. I still do practically the same thing I've been doing for so long. So apa yang tak cukupnya? I don't feel any different. Bila agaknya nak rasa dewasa ni? hmm....

Right this very moment I'm listening to Pamik spinning Adele's Someone Like You,. it's funny how we could always relate to a song everytime something bad or good happens. Yes, I am still looking for that someone who is exactly like you, but can never be you. But who? Someone once told me, "Kalau you lapar, I mesti lapar juga. Kalau I kenyang, you mesti kenyang". Entah kenapa, dulu ayat tu tak berapa nak penting to me. I understand what that person meant when he said it to me, tapi mungkin sebab kematangan diri yang rendah buat Byn ambil tak peduli je dengan ayat tu. Whoa, uncool Byn! Kalau la orang tu tahu Byn masa tu tak heran mana sangat dengan ayat dia tu, mesti orang tu terasa gila. Bila lagi nak dengar orang bercakap macam tu kat Byn? I'm not that desperate to find a replacement, tapi at the same time loneliness tu makan dalam. Pelik? Entah.